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happiest person on earth happiness happy helpfulness meditation

How can I become the “Happiest person in the world”?

I Googled, “Happiest person on the earth” , and this article turned up.

A 69 year old Tibetian monk from France is the happiest person on earth. But what I was really curious about was “how” and “why”.
Let’s start with the why.
Why is Matthieu Ricard so happy?
“To Ricard, the answer comes down to altruism. The reason is because thinking about yourself, and how to make things better for yourself all the time, is exhausting, stressful, and ultimately leads to unhappiness.
“It’s not the moral ground,” Ricard explained. “It’s simply that me, me, me all day long is very stuffy. And it’s quite miserable, because you instrumentalize the whole world as a threat, or as a potential sort of interest [to yourself].” 
One of the key reasons I feel, that Ricard is able to find true happiness within himself is that he constantly puts others before himself. This is not to say that he doesn’t take good care of himself, or serve others at the expense of himself. In fact, as a coach, one of the first things that we need to do is to ensure that we can swim well, before we jump into the water to save someone who is drowning. 
But Ricard looks beyond himself. He reminds me of the Apostle Paul, whose heart for his fellow Christians is evident in spite of the tremendous persecutions and sufferings that he has to go through. And at the heart of it, I believe that Ricard has found his sense of purpose. Both Apostle Paul and Ricard lives for something beyond themselves, and that has motivated and inspired them to be happy. 
Here’s a chance to stop, ponder and reflect upon our purpose. Why do you do what you do? 
Next, how did Ricard find happiness? 
Having a clear sense of purpose, Ricard is truly compassionate towards other people, and helps them on their way to true happiness. Apostle Paul spends a lot of time ministering to the needs of the people, praying, encouraging and helping them to grow in Christ. 
One of the ways they found happiness is in serving others. Offering practical help to people. In our line of work, or business, it is deeply rewarding if we can find meaning in what we do, beyond monetary reward. Monetary reward can be finite. But meaning moves deeper. In my framework of HAPPY, H stands for helpfulness. Being helpful is one of the powerful steps to being happy! 
The second way is to meditate. Meditation helped Ricard to be mindful, and this helped him to be happy. Similarly, Apostle Paul spends a lot of time reading the bible and praying. It is scientifically proven that those who pray and meditate find more peace and joy within. 
Set aside time to pray and meditate daily. 

Categories
be helpful be happy find your why happiness hope purpose self help

How to be Happy in 2020

Helpful

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care. The first thing about being happy is really, being helpful.

Let me share with you the MOP framework on being helpful:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment.

Mindfulness is about being non-judgmental.

Living in our fast paced fast food world, we tend to lose focus on being in the present. We love to cast our judgment  and criticize.

The first step to being helpful is to be mindful.

If we cannot be mindful, there is no way we can even think about helping others.

Others

Focus on others over self.

It is natural to think about ourselves. We are born that way, through the fight or flight instinct.

However, if we first focus on others, of seeing to give or add value, we realize that which ever station of life’s stage we are at, there is always someone that we can help.

Have you ever encountered “salesy” people? Those who are only interested in making a sale and not at all in you?

How do you feel?

If you are in the sales line, remember this: Always seek to build a rapport and add value first, before asking for a sale.

Positive Influence.

There is just too much negative news nowadays.

Violence, dispute, corruption and death…

If each and everyone of us can be deliberate in being a positive influence, we can really be helpful!

The reason why I don’t post negative things is not that I do not have my complaints (our national hobby!) or challenges , but that I want to create a positive experience.

Even when I share about my challenges, I will always end off on a positive note. It is not about what we are going through, but where we are going to.


Abundance.

The GIVE framework to cultivating an abundant mindset.

Giving

Make giving a lifestyle.

If you do not have the habit of giving, you can start small.

Give of your time, energy or finances to help a good cause.

It can be as simple as giving thanks and showing appreciation to people.

Imagine abundance!

We have to be aware of the “scarcity mindset”.

The scarcity mindset tells us that resources are finite, and if we give to people, we will put ourselves at a disadvantage. The scarcity mindset is actually a very dis-empowering belief that holds many people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. This is because instead of focusing on possibilities, they are focusing on what they do not have at the moment. Instead of asking,”What are my options?”, they say, “I am not ________ ” or “I cannot __________”.

This is absolutely not true!

God created abundance in this world, we just need to learn how to be resourceful.

Value adding

See to always add value to others, before taking.

We are born to take resources from others as a young, defenseless baby.

However, as we grow up and mature, we can then start to add value to others before taking.

This leads to the last point.

Everybody wins!

Always seek to create win-win situations, or even win-win-win situations.

Gaining an advantage doesn’t mean that somebody else has to lose something.

It is not a zero sum game.

In the 1976 Special Olympics in Seattle, Washington, one of the child fell down at the start of the race. He began to cry bitterly. Two of his fellow competitors, upon hearing his cries, stopped, turned around and helped him up. To loud applause, the trio finished the race together.

Passion

According to the “ikigai” definition, passion is what you love and what you are good at.

Your ikigai

If you can’t imagine not doing something, it’s a passion. It doesn’t have to be a moneymaker. Make your money some way that will give you the time for what you really love to do.

Finding your passion could be easier than you think. By answering these questions honestly, you could work out what to do with the rest of your life.

3 guiding questions to ask ourselves:

“What subject could I read 500 books about without getting bored?”

“What could I do for five years straight without getting paid?”

“What would I spend my time doing if I had complete financial abundance to do anything?”

Spend 20 minutes each day thinking about the things that have interested you recently, or any opportunities that you have spotted.

Imagine yourself waking up early, jumping out of bed in enthusiasm the moment you open your eyes!

Imagine yourself pumped up and ready to make a positive impact on someone else’s life in your area of expertise!

That is your passion.

Purpose

Purpose is about your “why”. (Read Simon Sinek’s book, “Start with Why”)

It is about why you exist, and what you are created for.

Many people are not clear about why they do what they do. As a result, many people will just “cruise” through life, living up to the expectations of others and never really discovering their true calling and fulfill their true potential.

There is an exercise that I like to do on a regular basis. It is called the “re calibration“.

While goal setting at the beginning of the year is good (SMART goals come to mind), it is important to constantly re calibrate and make sure that we are staying on the right track.

Take a blank piece of paper, and write down what we believe about ourselves.

For example, “I believe that I can overcome the fear of heights.”

“I believe that I can be more caring and kind.”

So on and so forth…

Examine the beliefs that we have written, and take note of any dis empowering beliefs that we hold on to, for example, “I believe that I cannot be promoted this year.”

Rephrase it, and make it positive and empowering.

Pin this paper where you can see it everyday, to remind yourself that you have a clear purpose in your life.

You.

Your identity. Yourself. Your esteem.

At the core of happiness, is a ready acceptance of yourself.

Accept who you are, and work towards a better version of yourself.

There are 2 groups of people that you need to learn how to forgive:

1. Yourself

2. People who have hurt you.

Many people cannot forgive themselves for having made mistakes in the past, that resulted in consequences that they have to bear even today.

Know this: each and everyone of us is uniquely created, and treasured by our Creator. Each and everyone of us is precious in God’s sight, no matter which God you worship.

If you have learnt to forgive yourself, the next step is to forgive people who have hurt you.

This may not be an easy process, and you may need to seek help for this. It will also take time, but that’s OK. Reach out to someone if you need help, and give yourself time to forgive.

Forgiveness definitely helps tremendously with our mental well-being. 

Un-forgiveness is like carrying a baggage from the past around. It is smelly, heavy and prevents you from chasing your goals in the future.

If you need some clarity, feel free to text me. 

Ask Yuantai

Categories
coaching find your why happiness purpose

Find your why

Most people ask “What can I do to become better?”, but they forget about the “why”.
If you do not have a clear picture on your “why”, you will constantly end up going around in circles, without making concrete progress towards your life’s goals.
This was exactly what happened to me, until 3 years ago, when I finally figured out my “why”. I realized that what I really wanted was to help people discover true joy and passion for their “why”, and in turn pursue happiness.
Hence, I gave up a comfortable job as a pharmacist and pursued a career as a coach. The happy coach!
Of course, there were numerous challenges along the way. There were times I felt extremely discouraged when coachees do not respond in the desired manner. But I never lost focus on the “why”. It is really easy to give up if you do not have a strong sense of purpose. 
One of the most common issues in my line of work is helping people to find clarity and purpose. And this involves digging deep and helping people figure out their “why”.
Recently, I finished 2 runs of “circuit breaker”. Would you like to guess the part that most people struggle in? No prizes for guessing! 😅
Now, write down your why, paste it on your mirror, or somewhere you will always see the first thing you wake up in the morning. 
If you haven’t figured it out… 
What are you waiting for? 😁
If you find this helpful, please share it! 
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