Categories
encouragement fear find your why motivation

How to get out of your comfort zone in 2020

Staying in our comfort zones is one of the biggest reason why we can’t find motivation to achieve our goals and dreams.

Do you remember the story of the frog in the pot?
Yes, he got too comfortable in the pot of gradually warming water, and before too long, he was cooked in the pot. I haven’t actually tested if this is true… but you kind of get the idea.
Frog in a pot

If Covid-19 hasn’t already affected you by now, you must be living in a different planet!

I have seen how some of my friends closed their businesses, or have their income severely affected by the crisis. I myself have also closed down one of my businesses due to the changing landscape.
Here are some steps which I have used to help myself get out of my comfort zone:
1) Be crystal clear about your “Why”
Write down what are your goals in the near future (2-5 years) and possibly a longer term goal (10 years). 
Many people aren’t sure of why they are doing what they are doing, and this stops them from putting their 100% behind what they do.
This is also why work feels like a dread and not a passion.
2) Find out the obstacles that prevent you from achieving your “Why”
Be clear about what are the areas of growth that you need to achieve, in terms of your mindset and skills, and perhaps even the value of your network.
Obstacles make us feel uncomfortable.
They stretch us and force us to grow.
Focus on how it feels like to overcome these obstacles.
Focus on the “pleasure”, and not on the “pain”.
What are some of the “negative” self-talk that you have? Or the negative thoughts?
It is time to thrash those self-talk and thoughts!
3) Break it down
I love to trek and climb mountains. Every hike is a minimum of 8 hours, and takes a lot of effort to prepare.
One of the trick I used is to break down the hike into chucks and check points.
Similarly, achieving our goals requires us to break it down into smaller chucks, so that we will not get discouraged even before we begin.
How then do you climb Mount Everest?
That’s right, one step at a time!
4) You will never walk alone!
Yes, that’s right. 
When I go trekking, I seldom do it alone. I always do it in a group, with my spouse and my friends.
Of course, on some trips, we have guides as well.
Similarly, find a mentor and find an accountability partner to help you along.
This will shorten your learning process, as well as give you encouragement and will to keep on keeping on.
5) There will be failures along the way…
But with every lesson, you learn to become smarter and stronger.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. 
If you don’t make any mistakes, it means that you have not tried enough.
The failure of my business taught me many things on how not to run a business.
Yes, it was painful and emotionally draining, but it also taught me many valuable lessons.
6) Learn to enjoy the journey!
Have fun along the way! Learn to enjoy the birds and the bees. 
Breathe the fresh air as you embark on your journey, and treasure the many unique and interesting experiences that you encounter along the way!
Ask Yuantai
Categories
be helpful be happy find your why happiness hope purpose self help

How to be Happy in 2020

Helpful

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care. The first thing about being happy is really, being helpful.

Let me share with you the MOP framework on being helpful:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment.

Mindfulness is about being non-judgmental.

Living in our fast paced fast food world, we tend to lose focus on being in the present. We love to cast our judgment  and criticize.

The first step to being helpful is to be mindful.

If we cannot be mindful, there is no way we can even think about helping others.

Others

Focus on others over self.

It is natural to think about ourselves. We are born that way, through the fight or flight instinct.

However, if we first focus on others, of seeing to give or add value, we realize that which ever station of life’s stage we are at, there is always someone that we can help.

Have you ever encountered “salesy” people? Those who are only interested in making a sale and not at all in you?

How do you feel?

If you are in the sales line, remember this: Always seek to build a rapport and add value first, before asking for a sale.

Positive Influence.

There is just too much negative news nowadays.

Violence, dispute, corruption and death…

If each and everyone of us can be deliberate in being a positive influence, we can really be helpful!

The reason why I don’t post negative things is not that I do not have my complaints (our national hobby!) or challenges , but that I want to create a positive experience.

Even when I share about my challenges, I will always end off on a positive note. It is not about what we are going through, but where we are going to.


Abundance.

The GIVE framework to cultivating an abundant mindset.

Giving

Make giving a lifestyle.

If you do not have the habit of giving, you can start small.

Give of your time, energy or finances to help a good cause.

It can be as simple as giving thanks and showing appreciation to people.

Imagine abundance!

We have to be aware of the “scarcity mindset”.

The scarcity mindset tells us that resources are finite, and if we give to people, we will put ourselves at a disadvantage. The scarcity mindset is actually a very dis-empowering belief that holds many people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. This is because instead of focusing on possibilities, they are focusing on what they do not have at the moment. Instead of asking,”What are my options?”, they say, “I am not ________ ” or “I cannot __________”.

This is absolutely not true!

God created abundance in this world, we just need to learn how to be resourceful.

Value adding

See to always add value to others, before taking.

We are born to take resources from others as a young, defenseless baby.

However, as we grow up and mature, we can then start to add value to others before taking.

This leads to the last point.

Everybody wins!

Always seek to create win-win situations, or even win-win-win situations.

Gaining an advantage doesn’t mean that somebody else has to lose something.

It is not a zero sum game.

In the 1976 Special Olympics in Seattle, Washington, one of the child fell down at the start of the race. He began to cry bitterly. Two of his fellow competitors, upon hearing his cries, stopped, turned around and helped him up. To loud applause, the trio finished the race together.

Passion

According to the “ikigai” definition, passion is what you love and what you are good at.

Your ikigai

If you can’t imagine not doing something, it’s a passion. It doesn’t have to be a moneymaker. Make your money some way that will give you the time for what you really love to do.

Finding your passion could be easier than you think. By answering these questions honestly, you could work out what to do with the rest of your life.

3 guiding questions to ask ourselves:

“What subject could I read 500 books about without getting bored?”

“What could I do for five years straight without getting paid?”

“What would I spend my time doing if I had complete financial abundance to do anything?”

Spend 20 minutes each day thinking about the things that have interested you recently, or any opportunities that you have spotted.

Imagine yourself waking up early, jumping out of bed in enthusiasm the moment you open your eyes!

Imagine yourself pumped up and ready to make a positive impact on someone else’s life in your area of expertise!

That is your passion.

Purpose

Purpose is about your “why”. (Read Simon Sinek’s book, “Start with Why”)

It is about why you exist, and what you are created for.

Many people are not clear about why they do what they do. As a result, many people will just “cruise” through life, living up to the expectations of others and never really discovering their true calling and fulfill their true potential.

There is an exercise that I like to do on a regular basis. It is called the “re calibrationโ€œ.

While goal setting at the beginning of the year is good (SMART goals come to mind), it is important to constantly re calibrate and make sure that we are staying on the right track.

Take a blank piece of paper, and write down what we believe about ourselves.

For example, “I believe that I can overcome the fear of heights.”

“I believe that I can be more caring and kind.”

So on and so forth…

Examine the beliefs that we have written, and take note of any dis empowering beliefs that we hold on to, for example, “I believe that I cannot be promoted this year.”

Rephrase it, and make it positive and empowering.

Pin this paper where you can see it everyday, to remind yourself that you have a clear purpose in your life.

You.

Your identity. Yourself. Your esteem.

At the core of happiness, is a ready acceptance of yourself.

Accept who you are, and work towards a better version of yourself.

There are 2 groups of people that you need to learn how to forgive:

1. Yourself

2. People who have hurt you.

Many people cannot forgive themselves for having made mistakes in the past, that resulted in consequences that they have to bear even today.

Know this: each and everyone of us is uniquely created, and treasured by our Creator. Each and everyone of us is precious in God’s sight, no matter which God you worship.

If you have learnt to forgive yourself, the next step is to forgive people who have hurt you.

This may not be an easy process, and you may need to seek help for this. It will also take time, but that’s OK. Reach out to someone if you need help, and give yourself time to forgive.

Forgiveness definitely helps tremendously with our mental well-being. 

Un-forgiveness is like carrying a baggage from the past around. It is smelly, heavy and prevents you from chasing your goals in the future.

If you need some clarity, feel free to text me. 

Ask Yuantai

Categories
coaching find your why happiness purpose

Find your why

Most people ask “What can I do to become better?”, but they forget about the “why”.
If you do not have a clear picture on your “why”, you will constantly end up going around in circles, without making concrete progress towards your life’s goals.
This was exactly what happened to me, until 3 years ago, when I finally figured out my “why”. I realized that what I really wanted was to help people discover true joy and passion for their “why”, and in turn pursue happiness.
Hence, I gave up a comfortable job as a pharmacist and pursued a career as a coach. The happy coach!
Of course, there were numerous challenges along the way. There were times I felt extremely discouraged when coachees do not respond in the desired manner. But I never lost focus on the “why”. It is really easy to give up if you do not have a strong sense of purpose. 
One of the most common issues in my line of work is helping people to find clarity and purpose. And this involves digging deep and helping people figure out their “why”.
Recently, I finished 2 runs of “circuit breaker”. Would you like to guess the part that most people struggle in? No prizes for guessing! ๐Ÿ˜…
Now, write down your why, paste it on your mirror, or somewhere you will always see the first thing you wake up in the morning. 
If you haven’t figured it out… 
What are you waiting for? ๐Ÿ˜
If you find this helpful, please share it! 
Top 20 Simon Sinek Quotes That Reveal the Hard Truths ...