My experience with depression

A couple of days ago, I saw something mentioned in the news about the high likelihood of men suffering from depression, because they do not speak up or seek help as much as women…
This struck me deeply, and reminded me of a certain dark period of my life when I almost fell into depression…
That was quite a few years back in the year 2011, when I was supposed to get married at the end of 2011, but the relationship fell apart because of various reasons, some of which were directly because of me. At that point of time, I blamed everyone and everything, and retreated slowly into a shell which I created for myself.
But on the surface, I put on a facade, of being able to cope with the breakup and continuing life as per normal.
Deep inside, I went through a roller coaster of emotions. First, denial. Denial that the relationship was over and it was time to move on. Then, anger. Anger that my ex decided to give up on the relationship. Frustration that I couldn’t do anymore to salvage the relationship. Finally, bitterness that God allowed bad things to happen to good people. (Okay, I wasn’t perfect, but I considered myself to be good lah)
It wasn’t easy for me to walk out of that dark period of my life. But I was able to because I had people around me who never failed to reach out to me, while at the same time giving me space to go through the various stages of grief.
Why am I sharing this now? This is because I want to create awareness – awareness that depression is real, and they affect people around you. Especially during such tough times, when people are losing jobs, business closing down etc.
That piece of news struck a deep chord with me, and reminded me not to stop reaching out to people around me. If you need someone to talk to, I am absolutely willing to lend you my ears, or even a shoulder to cry on.
I just want you to know that it is okay to be not okay.


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